so it's the end of my relationship with blogger.com. it's not that i haven't loved our time together, but it is that i've realized that this blog has been wonderful because i have learned how to express my feelings and talk about truth and life and love and pain. [and for a long time, until my friend marcus started blogging, no one really knew about this site--at least, no one in my physical world...] i've also realized that these are things i can't air to the general public, and i love to write. so, i'm starting over. i'll keep this blog, but i'm going to begin a new wordpress blog soon which will have thoughts from everyday life and my musings, but in a bit more "light" manner. and the emotional feeling girl stuff--i have a journal that is perfect for all of that :)
so here's what i've learned in the last year and a half while blogging:
i'm good enough. not good enough to save myself--utterly depraved, mind you--but i'm me. i'm who God created me to be. and that has to be enough.
some people stay, and some people walk out. and it hurts like everything, but in the end--it makes us who we are.
there's a whole lot of beauty in the breakdown.
i'm okay without you. without the guys i thought i loved, without the men i thought were fathers--i'm okay without you. i survived. i learned what it means to trust again.
i love to write, and i love urban areas, and i love guacamole. i love taking way too many pictures. i love getting lost in the moment. i love a good story and a great plot. i thrive on deep conversation. i keep way too much of myself to myself. so, it's time to open up and embrace what's next...
my bucket list.
Posteado en en 2:43 PM por amy
-live in boston [even if it's just for a short period].
-fall in love, get married and adopt kids. preferably kids who are not caucasian.
-graduate with my master's degree.
-become comfortable with who God has created me to be.
-learn how to shag, even though i have two left feet.
-see and touch an actual gutenberg bible.
-make a difference in the world.
-be published [and not just a thesis].
-make an honest-to-goodness edible cheesecake.
-go skydiving [maybe...]
-see a real shooting star.
-fall in love, get married and adopt kids. preferably kids who are not caucasian.
-graduate with my master's degree.
-become comfortable with who God has created me to be.
-learn how to shag, even though i have two left feet.
-see and touch an actual gutenberg bible.
-make a difference in the world.
-be published [and not just a thesis].
-make an honest-to-goodness edible cheesecake.
-go skydiving [maybe...]
-see a real shooting star.
reflections.
Posteado en en 12:02 AM por amy
2009 was a whirlwind. beautiful and difficult and grandiose and large and painful and joyous.
i learned that sometimes the most peculiar people stick with you, while others surprise you by falling away. be shocked, be hurt, be humbled--but stick out your hand and nonetheless embrace the ones who choose to stay.
i found that everything--everything--is usually harder than you imagine it to be--but also more worth it in the end. [except, possibly, for greek]
when packing boxes, label everything. also, when moving, make sure to write down the code to access your storage unit. this is vital.
i learned that you're never too old to dream. you're also never too old to cry to your mother via the phone.
i know now that i'm probably not going to live in the south forever...hopefully 2013 will bring a new region of the country, with new people and new ministry opportunities--though i would love for some familiar faces to travel with me.
i realized that there aren't a lot of easy answers, and that the questions themselves are sometimes more important than the answers.
i learned that there are huge benefits and negatives to living in the central time zone, that milo's is disgusting, and that i really miss beezer's.
so, here's to 2010:
to being back in south carolina for another summer--the state that i once hated--and in charleston, no less.
to attempting to conquer greek and beginning to learn hebrew.
to my ELC babies growing up and walking, and talking, and learning.
to a new addition in my MBBC family :)
to financial provision from the Lord--i always said that, if i could make it through undergrad out of debt, i wouldn't worry about my debt in graduate school. and here's to just that--not worrying my life away [thanks jason mraz]
to taking more risks, being true to my feelings, worrying less, and loving without abandon.
to spending less, giving more, and worshipping truly.
i think it'll be a year to remember. 2009 certainly was.
i learned that sometimes the most peculiar people stick with you, while others surprise you by falling away. be shocked, be hurt, be humbled--but stick out your hand and nonetheless embrace the ones who choose to stay.
i found that everything--everything--is usually harder than you imagine it to be--but also more worth it in the end. [except, possibly, for greek]
when packing boxes, label everything. also, when moving, make sure to write down the code to access your storage unit. this is vital.
i learned that you're never too old to dream. you're also never too old to cry to your mother via the phone.
i know now that i'm probably not going to live in the south forever...hopefully 2013 will bring a new region of the country, with new people and new ministry opportunities--though i would love for some familiar faces to travel with me.
i realized that there aren't a lot of easy answers, and that the questions themselves are sometimes more important than the answers.
i learned that there are huge benefits and negatives to living in the central time zone, that milo's is disgusting, and that i really miss beezer's.
so, here's to 2010:
to being back in south carolina for another summer--the state that i once hated--and in charleston, no less.
to attempting to conquer greek and beginning to learn hebrew.
to my ELC babies growing up and walking, and talking, and learning.
to a new addition in my MBBC family :)
to financial provision from the Lord--i always said that, if i could make it through undergrad out of debt, i wouldn't worry about my debt in graduate school. and here's to just that--not worrying my life away [thanks jason mraz]
to taking more risks, being true to my feelings, worrying less, and loving without abandon.
to spending less, giving more, and worshipping truly.
i think it'll be a year to remember. 2009 certainly was.
just because it's Christmas
Posteado en en 12:16 AM por amy
"but for now, let me say--without hope or agenda, just because it's Christmas [and at Christmas, you tell the truth]...to me, you are perfect."
--love actually
this is quite possibly my favorite christmas movie of all time. shady, yes. sketchy, oh yes. with many scenes and words that are terribly inappropriate. but, all in all, it's realistic, and honest, and heart warming in an odd way.
--love actually
this is quite possibly my favorite christmas movie of all time. shady, yes. sketchy, oh yes. with many scenes and words that are terribly inappropriate. but, all in all, it's realistic, and honest, and heart warming in an odd way.
so, you want to hear a secret?
Posteado en en 12:01 AM por amy
[i'd have made a really good 1960's housewife.]
actually, i'd make a really good housewife in general, and here are a few reasons why:
-i can cook. i mean, not just make hamburger helper cook, but actually cook...especially if it is mexican or tex mex
such as: taco soup, fajitas, taco casserole, hashbrown casserole, spinach manicotti...
[basically, i should live in texas, but i don't. whoops]
-i like kids. i mean, i really like kids. like--i like them for a living--or at least, a part-time living. and i actually enjoy it--the feedings, the dirty diapers, the peekaboo, the snotty noses, the crying, the rocking, the leaving drool spots on your shirt from where they've been breathing when they lay on your chest...
-i'm domestic. i clean, i organize, i plan. and...i actually enjoy all of that.
so, here's the thing:
i'd make a really good 1960's housewife for someone, but...
i could never marry someone who only wanted to be with me for that.
because--as much as i like the housewife stuff--there's the other side of me, that's fiercly independent and stubborn and take charge. the side of me that believes in equality and partnership, not oppression and subservience.
actually, i'd make a really good housewife in general, and here are a few reasons why:
-i can cook. i mean, not just make hamburger helper cook, but actually cook...especially if it is mexican or tex mex
such as: taco soup, fajitas, taco casserole, hashbrown casserole, spinach manicotti...
[basically, i should live in texas, but i don't. whoops]
-i like kids. i mean, i really like kids. like--i like them for a living--or at least, a part-time living. and i actually enjoy it--the feedings, the dirty diapers, the peekaboo, the snotty noses, the crying, the rocking, the leaving drool spots on your shirt from where they've been breathing when they lay on your chest...
-i'm domestic. i clean, i organize, i plan. and...i actually enjoy all of that.
so, here's the thing:
i'd make a really good 1960's housewife for someone, but...
i could never marry someone who only wanted to be with me for that.
because--as much as i like the housewife stuff--there's the other side of me, that's fiercly independent and stubborn and take charge. the side of me that believes in equality and partnership, not oppression and subservience.
Posteado en
en
11:43 PM
por
amy
lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you.
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you.
serendipity.
Posteado en en 9:59 PM por amy
for three of my favorite girls, one of my favorite movies, and of course--my favorite season of the year:
you got someone else
maybe it's for the best
since i took the cure
for happiness
and i'd trade it all
on a night like this
for your loving arms
and a moonlight kiss
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbJsKsdnqZc
"maybe we're lying here because you don't wanna be standing somewhere else."
you got someone else
maybe it's for the best
since i took the cure
for happiness
and i'd trade it all
on a night like this
for your loving arms
and a moonlight kiss
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbJsKsdnqZc
"maybe we're lying here because you don't wanna be standing somewhere else."
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